Getting in and out of the way of happiness

Our base state is peace. Not happy exactly. More like an absence of unhappiness. Being an embodied human being means having highs and lows, happiness and sadness. Being okay with that can help. And we can have less unhappiness by letting go of some of our requirements for happiness.

• Remember that everyone has more suffering and less happiness than they want.
• A good life is rich and interesting, but not always happy.
• Recognise and accept unhappiness, without identifying with it.
• Recognise that happiness and suffering do, and can only, co-exist.
• Don’t cling to your own comfort. Then problems become no problem.
• (Be brave and insightful and) Let go of your ideas of happiness.
• Interacting with strangers and having healthy habits can make us happy.

Gathered notes

• Become more other-centred, more other-loving. Remember that everyone has more suffering and less happiness than they want.
• Practice is not having a problem with having problems. Don’t cling to your own comfort and problems become no problem.
• Every thing causes some problems. The thought that life shouldn’t be a struggle is painful, so we try to escape it.
• Sadness is part of the human experience. A good life is rich and interesting, but not always happy. Our need to have everything go our way is the cause of a lot of suffering.
• When you don’t notice it, you identify with, you become, the unhappiness. Recognise unhappiness, without trying to change it or fix it. Experience emotions fully, without separation or rejection, without adding anything.
• We’re allowed to feel happy now, before the end of all our suffering. Suffering and happiness are not separate. Where there is no suffering, there can be no happiness, and vice versa.
• Slowly, painfully, reconcile to life. Let problems support your practice, enhance your ability to respond appropriately. Use whatever happens as opportunity to wake up, to soften.
• We make specific requirements for our happiness. If the conditions aren’t met, we can’t be happy. We overlook opportunities for happiness that are already here. Let go of the belief that “this isn’t it.”
• Letting go can take a lot of courage, but once you let go happiness come quickly. It needs great insight and courage to release our ideas of happiness. But, once we can do that, freedom and happiness can come very easily.
• Thing that makes us happy (that can seem counter-intuitive): social relationships; interacting with strangers; having healthy habits.

Recognise happiness

• We make specific requirements for our happiness. If the conditions aren’t met, we can’t be happy.
• We overlook opportunities for happiness that are already here.
• Don’t let the content of awareness veil your true nature of happiness and peace.
• We tend to assume that we can only be happy if things go the way we want.
• Be “happy for no reason.”
• Happiness can’t be acquired, only revealed.
• You can’t become happy, you can only be happy.
• Your search for happiness is what makes you feel miserable.
• Let go of the belief that “this isn’t it.”
• Once we realize that we already have more than enough conditions to be happy, we can be happy right here and right now.
• Don’t hold your happiness hostage, contingent on unmet demands.
• Happiness doesn’t depend on external conditions alone; it depends on our way of looking at and seeing things.
• Thing that makes us happy (that can seem counter-intuitive): social relationships; interacting with strangers; having healthy habits.

Accept unhappiness

• Recognise unhappiness, without trying to change it or fix it.
• Experience emotions fully, without separation or rejection, without adding anything.
• A good life is rich and interesting, but not always happy.
• Our need to have everything go our way is the cause of a lot of suffering.

Why can’t it be both?

• We don’t believe we can have happiness and sadness at the same time. It seems like a paradox.
• We don’t have to wait until (the imaginary and impossible future when) we’ve solved all our problems.
• We’re allowed to feel happy now, before the end of all our suffering.
• Suffering and happiness are not separate. Where there is no suffering, there can be no happiness, and vice versa.

Problems

• We don’t need to be miserable while we work on our problems.
• The thought that life shouldn’t be a struggle is painful, so we try to escape it.
• Everything, every thing, causes some problems.
• When you don’t notice it, you identify with, you become, the unhappiness.
• Sadness is part of the human experience.

No problems

• Practice is not having a problem with having problems.
• Don’t cling to your own comfort and problems become no problem.
• In this moment, is there really a problem?
• What’s there when there’s no problem to solve?
• More important than what’s happening is how you meet it.

Keep going

• Let problems support your practice, enhance your ability to respond appropriately.
• We practice to (have the strength to) confront problems effectively.
• Slowly, painfully, reconcile to life.
• Do fewer (and fewer) things that make people (including you) miserable.
• Use whatever happens as opportunity to wake up, to soften.
• Letting go can take a lot of courage, but once you let go happiness come quickly.
• It needs great insight and courage to release our ideas of happiness. But, once we can do that, freedom and happiness can come very easily.
• Look for your unhappiness. Can you find it?
• Unhappiness can’t last when you truly accept it.

Be more other-centred

• Reduce as much as you can your excessive self-concern.
• Equalise our love of ourselves and others.
• Everyone has more suffering and less happiness than they want.

Added 2024-12-16.