How would you advise a friend?

One of my favourite things I’ve learned from the very excellent The School of Life is to ask the question

“How would you advise a friend?”.

I found it in Philotation (aka Philosophical Meditation).

I find it a really powerful way to cut through the narrative being added to events to find a path through them. I use it when I’m feeling stuck on something. When I’m not sure what to do next. When I feel like I’m looping round and round.

I find it works best when I take a moment to really imagine a good friend is in a very similar situation to the one I’m thinking about. In this picture, when they ask me “what do you think?”, the answer often feels obvious. As a person outside of the immediate situation, it’s easier to take a more objective view. It’s easier to ignore or quieten the stories being added to everything. It’s easier to point concisely at what to do.

• That is the right thing to do.
• That is the thing most aligned with your values.
• That is how you would act on your best day.
• Even though it’s difficult, or awkward, or time-consuming.

Added 2025-01-06.