Notes from Joan Tollifson books and articles

Trying to focus on “this is it”. Poking more at shoulds and coulds of the three uhds and “The infinite causes and conditions of Reality create everything”.

• Waking up is a (repeated, ongoing) falling away of the persistent belief that this isn’t it.
  • A process of subtraction and surrender, of letting go of more and more.
• Every event is part of life. Everything is included.
  • Events themselves aren’t undignified or humiliating. Events are free of the labels, stories, and judgements that thought adds.
  • Do nothing. Resist nothing. Notice thoughts arise, capture and hypnotise us, then pass away.
  • Tune into the felt experience, before thoughts. Allow awareness to illuminate what is, let it loosen the grip.

I still find this hard to settle into. A more “active” and involved stance like “Things that happen, our imperfections, are signposts on the Path, not obstacles to the Way” feels like a better fit for me, for where I’m at.

Gathered notes

• There in only seamless unicity, everything showing up together all at once.
  • Difference and variation, but not separation.
  • There’s no separation between (seeming) opposites. Opposites are different ways of seeing Reality.
  • Everything comes from the totality, not from some separate self.
• Nothing can be different to how it is. Problems, and the need to solve them, are a story added by thought.
  • What you truly are can’t be found as an object. You are prior to any object you can find.
  • Move from the story of separation to the immediacy of nondual experiencing.
• Thinking is something the universe is doing in the form of human beings.
  • Notice thoughts arise, capture and hypnotise us, then pass away.
• Sit down in silence and simply be present. Do nothing. Resist nothing.
  • Eventually, everything settles.
  • The story of problems and the need to solve them dissolves. The self who told the story dissolves.
  • Let go of “good” and “bad” and just tune into the actual felt experience.
  • Awareness, illuminating what is, transforms, by exposing the false and loosening its grip.
• Notice the first-person subjective view (always there) and the third-person objective view (there on and off, sometimes functional, sometimes delusional).
• Awakening (and ageing, and dying) is a process of subtraction and surrender.
  • Live with answerlessness.
• Waking up is a falling away of the persistent belief that this isn’t it.
  • A release from the fear, from the obsessive concern with self-improvement and self-preservation.
  • Every event, every situation, is simply part of life. Not undignified, humiliating, or any other qualities.

Raw notes

• There is only seamless unicity, unbroken wholeness, thoroughgoing flux and change.
• Seamless as in “they show up together”, not as in “there are no apparent borders”.
• Unicity is not in control because control takes two, the controller and the controlled, and unicity is undivided.
• Everything is unicity. Nothing can be different to how it is. Nothing is really a problem.
• All our desires, inclinations, interests, abilities, actions, thoughts, noticing thoughts, and impulses come from the totality, not from some separate self.
• “No-self” doesn’t mean no responsibility, or no potential for change. We can shine the light of awareness on things so there are more choices and possibilities, allow better choices. It’s all part of the show.
• The actual experience is that thoughts simply pop up out of nowhere.
• The illusion of an executive self is hardwired into the human mind as a way of functioning and surviving, and to some degree, it will continue to show up as needed in the waking state.
• Thought divides the present moment up into separate things, labels everything it has created, and then invents stories about how it all works.
• Move from the story of separation to the immediacy of nondual experiencing.
• See if you can see the seer. And if you think you’re seeing a seer, then ask yourself what is seeing that seer? Eventually, you’ll discover that what you truly are can’t be found as an object, that you are prior to any object you can find.

• The problem and the need to solve it are in the story.

• The best teachings help us to discern the difference between the map and the territory in ever more subtle ways. They also recognize that mapping is something the territory is doing

• We can’t deny difference and variation, but we can’t find actual separation. That recognition is what nonduality is all about.

• Thinking is something the universe is doing in the form of human beings.

• Sit down in silence and simply be present. Do nothing else.
• Resist nothing. Just be. Be still.
• Eventually, everything settles. The energy smooths out.

• When we stop running away and open to simply being here, the problem dissolves along with the “me” who seemed to have it.

• What if we let the labels go and tune into the actual felt experience? What happens if we stop calling things difficulties or problems? We don’t have to substitute positive labels for the negative ones, but what if we have no labels or ideas about these occurrences at all? Just the bare actuality itself.

• What if all the words we’ve learned (Consciousness, Awareness, Oneness, God, Radiant Presence) are unnecessary reifications of an ungraspable no-thing-ness? That doesn’t mean they can’t be used, or that that they may not be evocative or descriptive in helpful ways, but can they be held lightly?

• What happens when we stop all our usual activity and all our efforts to control the uncontrollable?
• Not fighting thoughts, or trying to be thought-free, but simply noticing thoughts arise, capture and hypnotise us, then pass away.
• Awareness, illuminating what is, transforms, by exposing the false and loosening its grip.
• Awareness gives us easier access to the source. Abiding in the source increases our ability to respond in new and different ways.
• The difference between heaven and hell, between nirvana and samsara, is a difference in way of being with them, of seeing them.

• Sacred: precious, infinite, worthy of our deepest attention.

• The first-person subjective view and the third-person objective view co-exist in our human lives.
• Waking up is about not being stuck in either one.
  • We often overlook the first-person subjective view.
• Spiritual awakening points to the first-person subjective view.
  • All-inclusive, unconditional love, accepting everything.
• The third-person subjective view doesn’t go away. It appears on and off. Sometimes it’s functional, sometimes it’s delusional.
• We can learn to distinguish between these two modes of third-person subjective view.

• We can learn to notice that the first-person subjective view is always there.

• Awakening is a process of subtraction and surrender.
• Things only seem separate or simple of permanent when we don’t look too closely.
  • Pay more, clearer, longer, attention.
• Everything is included.
• Qualities, adjectives, adverbs, are just concepts.
• Waking up is a falling away of the persistent belief that this isn’t it.

• Not “find the answer” or even “find an answer”, but live with answerlessness.

• Ageing and dying, like awakening, is a process of subtraction and surrender.
• Things only seem permanent or separate when we don’t look too closely.
• There’s no separation between (seeming) opposites. Opposites are different ways of seeing Reality.
• Every event, every situation, is simply part of life. Not undignified, humiliating, or any other qualities.
• Waking up is a release from the fear, from the obsessive concern with self-improvement and self-preservation. A falling away of the persistent belief that “this isn’t it.”
• “Gateless gate” because there’s a real difference between before and after. Even though the gate was imaginary.
• Life is playful, purposeless, groundless.
• The deepest truth is not to find an answer, but to live with the answer-less-ness.

Added 2025-01-01.