Notes from various Tara Brach talks and books

• Our qualities and behaviours are the product of many causes and conditions.
• When these don’t match with what our culture, our parents, our friends tell us are acceptable, loveable, worthy, we run away from that discomfort.
• But pushing away creates a barrier, creates separation. The path is to accept life as it is, more and more.
• The A (Allow, or Accept) in RAIN creates a pause. It gives us a little space to respond more wisely, more compassionately.

Matching this up a bit with the three uhds:

• Let go of the shoulds.
  • We tend to focus our qualities and behaviours that we think are wrong and/or missing.
  • And what we think as wrong and/or missing is determined by nature and nurture, many causes and conditions.
• Let go of the coulds.
  • Our qualities and behaviours are determined by nature and nurture, many causes and conditions.
• Rest in the good(s).
  • Meet your edge and soften. Hold things with compassion.

Gathered notes

• Our qualities and behaviours are the product of many causes and conditions.
  • (See also: the could in the three uhds)
• Our culture, our parents, our friends, and more, determine which qualities and behaviours are deemed good, loveable, worthy.
  • This conditioning goes deep.
  • As humans, we tend to focus on what’s wrong with us, what’s missing.
• We tend to run away from discomfort.
• The path is to accept life as it is, more and more.
  • Pushing away creates a barrier, creates separation.
• The A (Allow, or Accept) in RAIN creates a pause.
  • It gives us just a little space to respond more effectively, sustainably, from love, wholeness, and peace.
• Meet your edge and soften.
  • Mindfully recognise and bring compassion to the parts of our being we’ve ignored, condemned, pushed away.

Raw notes

• Culture, parents, the Western creation myth often communicate that be love, approved, worthy, we need to look and act a certain way.
• We sense we’re intrinsically flawed, and we’re worried others will find out.
• I am bad, I am falling short, I am wrong.
• Embrace life in all its messy, broken, realness.
• Mindfully recognise and bring compassion to the parts of our being we’ve ignored, condemned, pushed away.
• What wants attention or acceptance right now?
• All being have a negativity bias for survival, but humans identify with it.
• We tend to get down on ourselves about our conditioning, but it’s not personal.
• Does judging yourself work? Check! (Spoilers: no)
• Have an inner coach instead of an inner critic.
• The A in RAIN creates a pause.
• Try expressing the I of RAIN somatically: with your face, with your posture.
• We’re addicted to running away from discomfort.
• Blocks to contentment: focusing on what’s wrong; focusing on what’s missing.
• Acceptance lets us respond more effectively, sustainably, from love, wholeness, and peace.
• Not “bad self”, but patterns, conditioned identification.
• You are not your thoughts. Where do they come from? Where do they go?
• Be happy for no reason. Rather than only when they go your way.
• See things as they are. Without judgement. Without labelling them good or bad.
• Accept, let go. Pushing away creates a barrier.
• Trying to hide feelings deepens the separation.
• Accept life, just as it is.
• Hold things with compassion. This belongs.
• Meet your edge and soften.
• Our Buddha nature is always there. But sometimes it’s concealed.

Sources, previous notes

• Awakening from the Trance of Unworthiness
• Trust the Gold - Course
• How to Stop The War Against Yourself
• The Blessings of Enough
• Trusting the Gold

Added 2024-09-03, last updated 2024-09-04.