The three uhds

An update to / remix of The three Os of letting go(s).

Should, could, good

• Let go of the shoulds.
  • That things should be different.
  • That you should be different.
• Let go of the coulds.
  • That things could be different.
  • That you could be different.
• Rest in the good(s).
  • That things are good as they are.
  • That you are good as you are.

Application

• Noticing loosens things some.
• Accepting loosens things some more.
• When you can’t do a step, don’t fight it. Just notice how it feels.

Flavours of tension

Applying the three uhds is a way of quietening down. But I tend to be quite high energy, and some of that comes from the tension around these.

• The tension between what is and what could be tends to give me high energy.
• But the tension between what is and what should be tends to give me nervous, anxious, energy.

These are both somewhat underpinned by the Inner Critic, leading me to dig into some IFS-like things.

I keep coming back to this! More recently when thinking about Mistakes, perfection, forgiveness. When I make a mistake: apply the three uhds. Then get to work.

Although the direct path, starting at the good(s) is ideal, I often find it difficult. I get really stuck on the should. However, I find that when I really accept the should, suddenly it becomes easy to let it go, and move on to the could. Hmm! 🤔

Over the years, I’ve found I’m noticing more and more the many causes and conditions that lead to my qualities, behaviours, thoughts, judgements. I’ve been noticing the could aspect more this year, especially in the last few months (Winter 2024). That has helped me notice the should aspect more, and how the root is essentially the same.

Added 2024-07-04, last updated 2025-01-01.