Notes from "It's Okay Not to Look for the Meaning of Life"

Notes from “It’s Okay Not to Look for the Meaning of Life” by Jikisai Minami

It’s okay, natural, to feel that you aren’t who you want to be.
It’s okay, natural, for humans to have fluctuating emotions.
Throwing things away and wanting more things are both about wanting life to be as you wish.
A wider frame makes problems seem smaller.
Thinking that you have to do something is putting yourself in a corner.
Align your actions with your values, and let the rest slide.
The more hard-working you are, the more likely you are to assume that hard work will be rewarded.

It’s okay

It’s all right if you can’t be who you want to be.
It is natural to feel uncomfortable with who you are.
It doesn’t matter if your emotions fluctuate. It is natural for human beings to feel joy, anger, sorrow, and pleasure.
If you can live with your regrets without forcing them away, you will one day discover meaning in them.
The act of throwing things away is the same as the desire to own things, and throwing things away is simply part of wanting your situation to be as you wish.

Problems

Life is about the kind of stress you choose to live with.
Clarifying a problem can let you see the way out.
Often, the reason we fail to see a situation clearly is due to the way we distance ourselves from our emotions.
(Our cooling down activity) must be something that can be done on a daily basis without using any stimuli that are new of unfamiliar. Ideally done alone, and without moving too much.
By expanding the frame through which you view things, problems that at first seem large become much smaller.
Thinking that you have do to something about a particular situation is just putting yourself in a corner.
Simply deal with matters as they arise.

Goals and dreams

When dreams are dashed, people move away from calculating loss and gain and discover what it is you truly value.
Once you have a clear idea of what you value, you can simply let everything else slide.
In reality, most people’s dreams don’t come true.
A “goal” is a “dream” that incorporates the possibility of abandoning it.
Actions that are based on the expectations of something good happening in return will not result in a cool down.
The more serious and hard-working people are, the more likely they are to assume that if they work hard their efforts will be rewarded.
If you think you can make any decision on your own, then your perception is fundamentally naive.

Raw notes

A Technique for Living

I have not given “answers” to people I have met so far. I only hope that their problems have been mirrored and clarified in the course of our conversations.
Once the true identity of what is tormenting or troubling you is revealed, you will see that there is surely a way out of it.
The courage … in which one can say “I’m glad to be alive, despite everything.”

Chapter One: What Is the “Self” You Value?

What you usually call “I” or “me” is nothing more than an entity made up of memories and relationships with others.
Human existence is like this: from the moment we are all born, we all continue to wear what we can call the “clothes that others put on us.”
It’s okay not to look for the meaning of life.
You may think that there is no hope in the words “life is meaningless.” But once you know that, you don’t have to strive to live a meaningful or worthwhile life. You don’t have to be so eager to find life’s meaning.
Separating “feelings” from “what is currently happening” can bring a problem one step closer to resolution.
Most problems, however, no matter how serious and painful, are about the relationships that surrouned a person.
When considering interpersonal relationships, it is important to understand that talking about things that are hard or things that you hate is not the same as what is really happening right now.
“Giving up” can also mean “to see clearly” or “to see the light,” and expresses the wisdom of the Buddha.
You also need to realise that the problem is not within you, but between you and other people.
It’s all right if you can’t be who you want to be.
It is impossible to live if you are constantly driving yourself to achieve things.
It is easier to live if you are willing to let life go by.
It is natural to feel uncomfortable with who you are.
Do something for someone else, not for yourself.
The thing you “ought to do” is not a desire, but a value.
The more serious the problem, the calmer you should be.
By expanding the frame through which you view things, problems that at first seem large become much smaller.
It is wise not to rely too much on one’s own senses or to be too confident.
If you think you can make any decision on your own, then your perception is fundamentally naive.
You will not have much to regret if you are prepared for nothing good to come of your choices.
Whatever place you are in now is a temporary one.
Thinking that you have do to something about a particular situation is just putting yourself in a corner.
When you bring (Dharma) knowledge to bear on your own problems and use it, it becomes “wisdom.”
The more you try to do something in the hope of a quick fix, the more likely you are to fail.
Life is about the kind of stress you choose to live with.

Chapter Two: Shake Off the Burden of Hopes and Dreams

When dreams are dashed, people move away from calculating loss and gain and discover what it is you truly value.
There is a landscape that can only be seen at the end of despair.
In reality, most people’s dreams don’t come true.
Setbacks are important for us as human beings. That is when we can leave the loss-and-gain mentality behind.
A “goal” is a “dream” that incorporates the possibility of abandoning it.
“I want, I want, I want” indicates strong insecurities.
The act of throwing things away is the same as the desire to own things, and throwing things away is simply part of wanting your situation to be as you wish.
There is no “reason”: you just happened to born into the world. That doesn’t mean we can’t find moments of meaning or reward in our everyday lives, and when we do, those moments should be celebrated.
Once you have a clear idea of what you value, you can simply let everything else slide.
Simply deal with matters as they arise.

Chapter Three: Don’t Be Swayed by Emotions

Thinking that effort or love will change the other person will only create new suffering.
The more serious and hard-working people are, the more likely they are to assume that if they work hard their efforts will be rewarded.
Often, the reason we fail to see a situation clearly is due to the way we distance ourselves from our emotions.
It doesn’t matter if your emotions fluctuate. It is natural for human beings to feel joy, anger, sorrow, and pleasure.
Aim for flexible swaying, steadfastness, quickly returning to normal again.
Actions that are based on the expectations of something good happening in return will not result in a cool down.
(Our cooling down activity) must be something that can be done on a daily basis without using any stimuli that are new of unfamiliar. Ideally done alone, and without moving too much.
The most important thing when getting advice is to have your problem made clear.
The reason we lose our temper is because we have a strange belief that getting angry will somehow fix things.
People can be saved just by talking about their true feelings.
Human relationships cannot be nurtured without a lot of hands-on work and time.

Chapter Four: Live Life to the Full While Looking Death in the Face

If you can live with your regrets without forcing them away, you will one day discover meaning in them.
Free yourself from the thought “why me?”
Once you truly forgive another person, you can laugh about even the most painful experiences.
A funeral has the purpose of turning a “dead body” into a “dead person.”
Instead of trying to overcome the fear of death, erase the “scared self.”
No longer regard yourself as precious.

Added 2024-08-17.